Originally written on Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 10:54am
It is but fragile, a solitary mass of flesh, the sensors working overtime processing the pain and sending the signals, but the skin does not respond, it is cold and inexpressive. It is the cold hard shell that shows no pain, no hurt, no grief, it continues to smile while the little world that lives, collapses inside. There is no cure for this kind of hurt, it stings and burns and can even induce tears, but he will not cry, he never did and he won't start now. If he had a choice he'd curl up into a ball and die. That however is not an option, the skin will not give in, the muscles wont relent and the smile shall remain in full public view. I close the door only to find myself in solitude but I can't cry here either, he is strong, he has to live on. There are moments in life where the world comes crashing down, its strange how sometimes the frequency goes up and the fact that its weighing you down leaves you a little more helpless than before but the vulnerability must not be exposed. We only control ourselves, we control no others. It is the giving of a solitary mass of flesh that leds to despair because what must be broken, will be. And there is no way for me to save myself from all that could have been but will never be... and what must be broken, will be.